The Big Slime Comes for TrumpTrump is concocting nutty lies to cover up his own corrupt incompetence at the National Mall Reflecting Pool. It won't work.
I tried to warn him that this wasn’t going to work. Way back on April 29 - that’s a thousand years ago in our Trump alternate universe - your intrepid correspondent reported from down on the National Mall that the vandal-in-chief was about to make a terrible mistake. The same Oval Office occupant who unilaterally tore down the East Wing of the White House and obnoxiously slapped his name on The Kennedy Center had announced that workers would paint the bottom of the Reflecting Pool an ominously dark color, “American flag blue,” all part of his genius plan to restore the legendary aquatic attraction to its original glory. Don’t worry, Trump assured the public, he would put his best guys on the case. And he promised the result would be a federal amenity straight out of a Caribbean resort. “Like in the Bahamas,” Trump said in April. Incidentally, that video of mine picked up 2.5 million views on Instagram. Fox’s Jesse Watters played it on his show and had a hissy fit, accusing this reporter of exhibiting “Trump Derangement Syndrome” and “crying like a baby.” Who’s crying now, Jesse? It’s Trump, who has spent a lifetime sliming his opponents and now appears powerless against the bright, green sludge that is slowly but surely, oozing its way toward him. And it couldn’t happen at a worse time for a president mired in the muck of 30% approval numbers. Unlike so many other Trump scandals, this one is actually accessible to the public. You can see it. You can touch it. And, as this reporter can confirm, you can smell it. Any tourist can walk right up to the Reflecting Pool and acknowledge the obvious - yep it’s green. And what’s worse, it’s shedding chunks of blue paint, a chemical reaction to the gallons of hydrogen peroxide poured in by contract workers (caught on-camera by my former CNN colleague Bob Kovach), in the hopes of clearing up the algae.
The result is a blooming Washington scandal of biological proportions. Do we call it “Green-Water-gate?” Perhaps somebody should write a book: “All the President’s Algae.” I prefer to call it, “The Big Slime!” And make no mistake, Slime-Time has become tortuous for Trump. Over the weekend, he and his allies began showering the public with ridiculous lies that mysterious vandals had somehow sabotaged the pool project. The problem for Trump - his lies aren’t working. As it turns out, slime doesn’t kill slime. ”No we had vandalism. No, vandals,” Trump insisted Monday, stammering almost incoherently to reporters, proceeding to claim laughably that somebody used a knife or box cutter to slice a 300-foot gash down the bottom of the pool. Despite that graphic description, Trump conceded it wasn’t that bad. “It’s not a lot of damage. But we will probably have to let the water out and re-fix it,” he added. Re-fix it? Watch the video of Trump’s explanation below. Of all the goofy Trump whoppers, these were some of his most bonkers yet. AND NOW A WORD FROM OUR SPONSOR… Hey guys… there’s a new tool I am using more and more these days to check out the news. It’s called Ground News. Not only do they have all of the day’s news… they also provide ownership information about the media outlets reporting the headlines. Take a look! Go to groundnews.com/acosta to get 40% off the unlimited access Vantage plan and unlock world-wide perspectives on the stories shaping our world. In a telltale sign of his manic desperation to point the finger elsewhere, Trump has somehow tagged his imagined nemesis, former FBI director James Comey in his child-like explanations for why the pool looks like something out of Yoda’s swampy planet of exile, Dagobah. The meme of this, by the way, is my favorite thus far. But I digress.
Trump lashed out at “Dirty Cop James Comey” because a nearby grass field on the Mall had been altered so it appeared that a “gigantic 86 47” had been “chemically carved into it,” the president explained. As an aside, Trump also claimed that chemicals were “illegally placed in the water,” contrary to the video of the contract workers in yellow vests doing exactly that.
Clearly, Trump needs help. He goes on to warn “there is a 10 year prison sentence” for such acts. That’s good to know because somebody ought to go arrest the vandal who ordered crews to affix his name to the exterior of The Kennedy Center. Trump has stubbornly refused to allow the public to see the front-facing section of the performing arts center where the words, “Donald J. Trump and” once defaced this Washington institution. In a continuing desecration of this living memorial to a slain president, a massive white tarp still covers that portion of the building.
None of this is helpful for Trump. As any longtime Washingtonian will tell you, D.C. loves a juicy summer scandal. Just as the stifling humidity settles in on Washington’s swampy downtown, and as members of Congress and federal workers leave town, the news slows just enough for a such tale as this. It’s almost like clockwork. Add to that, the cast members in this saga even includes a guy who got a no-bid contract and runs a company called, “Green Water Solutions.” And he’s a Trump donor who owns a home a mile from Mar a Lago? Who knew that Washington’s avenging angel, now wielding the sword of retribution and delivering justice upon a president in dire need of comeuppance, would come in the form of… a slow-moving photosynthetic organism? “The Big Slime” strikes again! Oh, and even as the Obamas were busily opening up their magnificent presidential center in Chicago. Talk about green with envy. You're currently a free subscriber to The Jim Acosta Show. For the full experience, upgrade your subscription.
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